For the longest time Nick and I have talked about enrolling Maxwell in Mothers Day Out. Well, tomorrow is his first day! When we went to the church last week to get him registered he had mixed emotions. Initially he was not at all interested in the teacher of the director but once he saw the toys he didnt want to leave. I feel confident that this will not be a difficult transition for him, I think he will do really well.
But what about me? For more than 2 years now it has been my main purpose to care for, nurture and teach Maxwell. He and I spend 97% of our time together and have pretty much been inseparable since be was born. I have been shocked at the wave of emotions this has caused. I mean, its only 2 days a week, he isnt going off to college in another town. At first, I was very excited, this will be a great break for me and it will give him the opportunity to socialize with kids his own age. I can do the grocery shopping , write my articles, get a mani/pedi, whatever I want without having to coerce him into cooperating. Then, I started to feel guilty. I have always felt sympathy for working Mothers, I would hate having to drop my kid off at daycare everyday for someone, who I dont know all that well, to care for my child. And now I am making the choice to do that…. Sort of. Maxwell will be in “school” two days a week for 5 hours each day.
As of right now I do not know how I feel about him starting school. I dont think I will have a decision on how I feel until we make it through the first few days. I have gone back and forth , weighing the pros and cons, and one thing always comes up. In his short 2 year life , Max has never really had the chance to spend time with kids in his own age group. He plays well with Jack but Jack is 8 and it is not the same. “School” will provide an experience to build his social skills that I can not provide when he is with me.
Tomorrow is the big day and after we drop off Jack we will come home and pick up his stuff. His diaper bag, nap mat and lunch box. I am sure there will be tears from both of us when its time for me to leave. I am not sure what I can do to prepare for this and I am blown away by how much emotion has come up. I keep telling myself that HE needs this but the truth is we BOTH do. I dont know what I am going to do on my first day without Max but I do know that he is sure to be the coolest kid in school !